so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
