I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
