You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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