love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
