It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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