We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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