Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
