found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
