Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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