the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize