Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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