she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
