its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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