trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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