theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize