My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize