Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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