Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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