there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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