R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
