I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I love having hate sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
