Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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