Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
