so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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