the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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