i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and she was petting her beer can
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
