her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
