Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize