Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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