too bad you live with your parents still
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
