And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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