i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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