There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
