I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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