If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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