I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
