hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
