i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize