And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.