Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.