Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wear drunk well.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
