When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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