Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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