for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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