my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
