I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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