Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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