He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
