We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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