There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
