I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
