We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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