your thong is hanging out like whoa
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Duck Duck Cougar?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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