She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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