the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need water and some morals
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
