I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
