A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
