girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
