I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
