Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
