im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
