I just made out with a guy for $7.
from now on my penis is your penis
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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