How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
